Back when Sesame Street was cool, Steve Wonder played.

I used to love Sesame Street.

I watch it now and cry, much like I do with modern Simpsons episodes.

Old School.

Nathan Quote #2:

"Mommy, can we sell our two cats to another family so we can get a pet snake?"

New Feature: Nathan Quotes!

From here on out, I will label anything to do with a "Nathan Quote" as... "Nathan Quotes"

So, Nathan Quote #1 is:

"Mommy would be perfect if she was born a cat."

Thank you, thank you, he'll be here the next 14 1/2 years.

Post Sept. 11 thoughts...

I actually came up with 95% of this text this morning, but it was all in e-mail and not in a public format. So, here it is. (Link here)

Phase 2: Make Victims Pay for Rape Kits

Thanks to Sarah Palin (Vice Presidential Candidate) we now know what Phase 2 is:

Make Victims Pay for Rape Kits!

... really... who in their right mind would vote for her for VP...

See my diary here:

Compare payment for rape kits to other law enforcement activities: Palin '08!

Jesus is a friend of mine (Jesus is my friend)!

Christian "Music"

I think the quotes tell you how I generally feel about it.

However, Christian Ska is very much alive... in the past!

Via BoingBoing, here is Sonseed!



But in all seriousness, I am/was an honest fan of Mephiskapheles. :)

Nerf Office Wars

http://view.break.com/521743 - Watch more free videos

Shauna Boliker, Richard (Dick) Devine: FAIL

So a jury of his peers acquitted. R. Kelly of child pornography charges that have been in the system for more than six years.

Now I didn't think too much of Asst. State Atty. Shauna Boliker before this trial (due to what I perceive as her inability to coherently, succinctly, and effectively make an argument to a jury), and I wasn't privy to this trial itself, so I can't say she directly failed. I suspect she took a weak case that really never should have gone this far and did the best she could do. A better attorney might have pulled it off, she couldn't.

However, I believe Richard (Dick) Devine just guaranteed that I'll never vote for him again.

"This prosecution is one we have no reservations about."Child pornography
prosecutions can be extremely difficult in many ways--one of them being that
victims often don't come forward themselves, Devine said.Even so, he said,
charges "have to be brought."

Source: Chicago Tribune

I understand that child pornography prosecutions can be extremely difficult. However, no! No No No! Charges do not have to be brought. You build a case on what you have and what you can prove, and if you don't think you can win (which, seeing that the evidence was pretty much the video tape, and some witnesses testifying that the girl on the spot was in the video even though she denies it) you have no business bringing a prosecution to trial.

It's a waste of my money and a waste of everyone's time. It's also a waste of talent.

I know that if someone close to me was molested I'd want to go through anything to see the person who molested that person brought to trial and convicted... hopefully castrated. However, if I couldn't prove it was that person other than a feeling, or an urge to get SOMEONE, then I would have to force myself to act differently.

I may "feel" R. Kelly's guilty, but I can't prove it.

"Not guilty" does not mean "innocent."

If we can't prove guilt, we shouldn't put people through this and waste money, time, and peoples' lives. This case should not have gone to trial.

Doesn't mean we can't laugh at R. Kelly's (mis)fortune.

Oh My God: Nathan... Cute... OVERLOAD

Fry's Electronics Ads!

So I have no idea if i'm going to permanently post Fry's Electronics Ads here or not. I usually head over to a Chicago based Vietnamese PC Magazine, TapChiViTinh. Personally I think it's awesome they host the ads on their forums.


But, I just lost some of my regular hosting, so i'm posting the pictures here to hotlink from the TapChiViTinh forums pages, so here goes. :)

Sunday, May 11, 2008

Saturday, May 10th, 2008

Western Digital "VelociRaptor" - !!!!!

Over the last few years, when I've needed a high performance hard drive, I've purchased and recommended the Western Digital Raptor line. From the first 36GB 10000RPM 8MB cache drive all the way to the 150GB 10000RPM 15MB cache'd Raptor X, I've been extremely happy with them.

1. I've purchased at least 30 for myself and clients, and none of them have died.
2. They run at 10K RPM (faster than the standard 7200RPM or 5400RPM for desktop drives) meaning faster sustained read speeds and faster random seek reads.
3. They sound cool without being annoying (hehe).

But, they're old... the last update to the line was in late 2006 and, I still love them, but I'm always looking for more speed.

So they introduced the VelociRaptor.

It's a terrible name, yes, but it's all about hard drive performance, and apparently this "tears shit up". It's a 2.5" drive with a huge heatsink surrounding it!

There've been 10K RPM SAS server drives out for a long time, it's nice to see they're bringing them over to the desktop, standard SATA side.

So, while I didn't find this out all by my lonesome, I thought this was exciting enough to bring everyone's attention. Want a fast drive? GET THIS.

300GB, 10K RPM, 3.0GB SATA (finally), and lots of healthy reviews = win.

Source: Engadget
Review: Tom's Hardware
Review: Maximum PC
Review: PC Perspective
Review: Hot Hardware

Rock Band : The Next Generation

My favorite game is Rock Band.

Our band is the Commonwealth of Pants.

Yes, NIkki's British, so that's why, leave us alone.

Anyway, some intrepid soul with (apparently) more love of Star Trek than me decided to go the extra mile and make Rock Band characters out of Star Trek characters.

I wish I had thought of this myself, because it's awesome:



(drops jaw)

Oh, and by the way, here's a video of Nathan drumming. :)

GCalSync - Synchronize Blackberry with Google Calendar

I have a Blackberry Curve 8320 from T-Mobile. I love the device. So much so that I put it through a full washer / dryer cycle just to make it look and smell great! Upon finding out the device no longer functioned, I coughed up the $110 insurance fee and received another. (It looks great, does not smell great... )

But right now I'm not using it with over the air sync of my calendar / address book information since I don't have a working Exchange server at the moment. So I decided to try to (temporarily) move away from the Microsoft Outlook / Microsoft Exchange combination.

The last time I tried this I attempted to use Ximian Evolution (now just Evolution), then I looked into Chandler, and... I came up empty. (Note, the Evolution logo has changed... I just like this one more)

The truth is, I need e-mail and calendaring all the time, everywhere I go, on a laptop, on my desktop, on my phone, and I need them to all share data seamlessly.

I think I may have found what I'm looking for.

Mail: Mozilla Thunderbird

Calendar: Mozilla Lightning (or Sunbird if you want a separate application)

Blackberry Sync: GCalSync

To make it work on the Blackberry side of things you need to be aware of two potential issues which I was not aware of. I received an "invalid tunnel name" error. I fixed it by resolving two issues:

Disabling the "Proxy" setting under TLS on the Blackberry.

Choose Options -> Security Options -> TLS -> TLS Default

Choose Handheld (not "Proxy")

Setting the APN name

Choose Options -> Advanced Options - TCP

Type in your Wireless Provider's APN address, username, and password.

(For T-Mobile, it's wap.voicestream.com with no username or password)

This is the closest I've come to breaking up the Outlook / Exchange combination.

It still isn't seamless, sync between the Blackberry and Google Calendar isn't automatic, you have to initiate it at the GCalSync app on the Blackberry.

Additionally, it won't update already uploaded events.

Nevertheless this is the closest I've come in a while, so I'm going to work with this and see what I end up doing.

Windows Vista Downgrading, aka: Purchasing laptops and shoehorning XP into them

So anyone purchasing a laptop these days has to deal with Windows Vista.

Disclaimer:
I've been using Windows Vista since day one. I heavily promoted Windows Vista as a panacea for problems laptop computers had connecting to disparate networks, power management, and other little XP issues that would crop up.
I am no longer a promoter of Windows Vista. I help people get rid of it in favor of Windows XP, or a I give a gentle push towards Apple.

I purchased four laptops from a local retailer, three Acer Extensa 4420-5237 units, and a HP Compaq Presario F756NR. I'm keeping one of the Acer's for myself.

Yes I linked you to a Taiwanese Acer site, because Acer America no longer lists that particular unit.

Both laptops come preloaded with Windows Vista Home Premium, 32-bit.

(Insert random Microsoft / Vista hating joke here. Here, I'll start you off: "Preloaded? More like pre-bloated!" Ok, ok, another one: "Preloaded? You must mean defective by design." Actually, that last one is a slogan referring to DRM infestations. Check out http://www.defectivebydesign.org.)

Anyway, both manufacturers (HP/Compaq and Acer) don't offer Windows XP on these laptops. They also don't list XP drivers for these laptops on their websites.

HP makes it rough, luckily enough intrepid souls out there purchased these laptops and either edited some .INF files on their own or found the exact same hardware on older laptops, or on other similar laptops offered by HP, Compaq, or another manufacturer and used the drivers from those models.

Unfortunately, all that information is buried under several forum posts and it's not in one location. So, I'm going to 1) Link to the original posts, and 2) Link to a 100% tested (by me, on a single laptop, don't complain if you can't get it the first time, just ask questions!) compilation of all the correct drivers, and 3) tell you how mad I am.



So, for the Compaq Presario F756NR, drivers are available here:

(Uploading, will post link soon)

The original forum posts I referenced are here:

http://forums11.itrc.hp.com/service/forums/bizsupport/questionanswer.do?admit=109447626+1208137423572+28353475&threadId=1188979
http://forums11.itrc.hp.com/service/forums/bizsupport/questionanswer.do?admit=109447626+1208137423799+28353475&threadId=1193928
Link to another laptop, the V3000Z CTO with some drivers and utilities that work. Read the earlier forum posts though.
http://h10025.www1.hp.com/ewfrf/wc/softwareList?os=228&lc=en&cc=us&dlc=en&product=3180330&lang=en'



Luckily, while Acer is just as dumb as HP for not listing drivers on their site, apparently their European bureau didn't get the memo.





So for the Acer Extensa 4420-5237, drivers are available here:

http://support.acer-euro.com/drivers/notebook/ex_4420.html

(lol)



Have fun y'alls!

Westboro Baptist Church gets Rick Roll'd

So the Westboro Baptist Church protested at Northern Illinois University (NIU) during services for the deceased.

Thank God someone Rick Roll'd them for their trouble.



Btw, this happened in Orlando, FL. Thanks to Perez Hilton for the link! (and Nikki for sending me there)

The coolest thing my dad has said (in my presence) in recent memory:

I received an e-mail from my dad today, and it reminded me that he occasionally used to rock.

It is a Microsoft bug/feature related to 8 bit MIME. 2003 Exchange forwards in 8 bit MIME. Other Exchange Servers and many other Servers can accept it. Yahoo and BlackBerry do not. This MS Document tells us how to turn off this feature. It’s scary and reminds me of my days as an assembler programmer XOR’ing a packed data field but it works. I have tried it on mine and now Yahoo messages can be forwarded to my BlackBerry and Vice Versa. It’s something I’ll need to do on any Exchange Server I have that forwards mail to a PDA or server similar to Yahoo.

http://support.microsoft.com/kb/257569/

I just looked at that and said to myself, "That's so cool... he used to be an assembler programmer... he knows what XOR is... hehe".

But anyway, to comment on Microsoft, 8 bit mime, ESMTP, and... how dumb SMTP is as a protocol, and why Blackberry/Yahoo/anyone else can't understand a few extra "introduction" lines (or why Exchange 2000 can't) is just... annoying. :)

Best April Fools Joke This Year, C/O The BBC

I wish public broadcasting was taken as seriously in this country as it is in Britain and Canada... GOD SAVE THE QUEEN... and the BBC and CBC.




(I do love Chicago Public Radio and PBS)

... and so the Rick Roll has truly come full circle.

So someone decided to actually look up Rick Astley. Hey, it's the Los Angeles Times, they're still journalists over there? (wow)

They let him in on this whole rickroll Internet phenomenon. Apparently he's into it, and has no plans to start a new career. Just relive a little of the old one. 

Good guy. :) 

I miss the Chappelle Show...

So I knew I wouldn't have time to listen to Barack Obama's speech, "A More Perfect Union." It's gotten saturation media coverage, mostly good, some disgustingly terrible, so I'm not going to push it or post any real opinion other than, "I must volunteer."

But it got me thinking about moments when political speech transcends politics and becomes a real force. So I remembered watching the Chappelle Show back when it was on "for real" and -fantastic-. (The entire first and second season is what I consider fantastic)

So Wyclef Jean comes on singing President. So I just want to share.

We Interrupt This Programme;

It's been a while since writing. I've reflected quite a bit on the trial and I realized I'm still having issues coming to terms with it.

So I'll continue to write about it... and shame all those who've earned a public shaming.

In the meantime, ... NEDM

Rick Roll'd: Rick Doom

(facepalm)

Rhymefest "friended" me on Facebook. (and why I'm lame)

Out of the blue I got an add request from Rhymefest on Facebook.

My first thought: How the hell does Rhymefest know who I am?
My second thought: I wonder if it's the post from a couple weeks ago.
My third thought: Nah... my site's read by a whopping five people (at best).
My fourth thought: Maybe google indexing is just that damned good... and maybe it ranked me high for "Rhymefest"
My fifth thought: It's probably not Rhymefest anyway.


So I accepted, and whether it's Rhymefest or not, it's cool as shit. :)

My sixth thought: Oh yeah... Facebook... (searches for Rhymefest) Damn, I'm number three on Facebook for "Rhymefest"... Apparently my last name (which incidentally rhymes with Hairy-Ass... thanks fourth grade!) being alphabetically first means I'm third in the pecking order.

So, while I still laugh at social networking in general as being a waste of time and useless (to me, not to anyone else, just to me), it apparently does connect people.

Thanks Rhymefest!

Check out a few articles on Rhymefest if you're interested:

Live: Rappers hate American Idol (VillageVoice.com)
Rhymefest Interview (ThaBiz.com)
A Revolutionary MC Speaks: An interview with Rhymefest. (JIVEMagazine.com)

Oh yeah... why am I lame? 'cause my first five thoughts were "...what the?" instead of "awesome"... :)

What beats Klingon Karaoke? STEVIE WONDER ON SESAME STREET!

Oh ... oh man... oh wow. Sesame Street back in the day was full of... what's that word? WIN
First, attribution:
I found this clip originally on Baby Roadies about... half a year ago? It disappeared after a couple days and I couldn't find a good quality clip again. Well, found another one.

Klingon Karaoke!

(grin)
Thanks Frank for an awesome Friday! Thanks to Capricon too!



Update: Attribution: OrganicPhoto.com (Frank!)

Flotation Centers, Relaxation, ... I need to head into Chicago.

So my Aunt Teresita and Uncle Frank ran a flotation center a couple years ago called "Aguasal". I'd never heard of flotation centers, isolation tanks or float tanks, only of sensory deprivation in the context of The Simpsons.



So I didn't exactly have an educated perception of floating. :)

But luckily Frank and Tere did, and knew about the benefits of floating enough to not just write or evangelize, but to found and run a flotation center!

Chicago's ABC 7 station ran a report on flotation while they were putting the finishing touches on their center.



A few months later, 190 North, a local Chicago based "news magazine" type show decided to pay Aguasal a visit.




This was all back in early to mid 2005. Unfortunately Aguasal closed (and so did my easy, nearby chance to float!) but it left a permanent mark in my mind and in many others.

Floatforhealth.net still ranks as one of the premier sources of information for flotation on the internet and it's still run by Frank and Tere.

They've also put up a blog that answers many questions about flotation. Check out floatation-tank.com and you can ask questions and get some answers if you're interested.

It also has links to where you can float in the US. The two places local to Chicago are:

Ecosspa (Naperville, IL) directions

SpaceTimeTanks (Chicago, IL) directions

Sony Support = WIN

So one of the clients I support purchased two Sony Vaio VGN-TZ195N laptops. They arrived with Vista Business pre-installed.



Sony VAIO VGN-TZ195N/XC 11.1" Laptop (Intel Core 2 Duo Processor U7600, 2 GB RAM, 48 GB Flash Drive, Vista Business)

I started out by removing Vista Business and installing our volume licensed Windows XP Professional software. Everything went great except for one thing...

The on board Sprint broadband card (Novatel Wireless Expedite EV-DO Rev.A) did not have Windows XP drivers on the Sony eSupport website. The eSupport website was pretty honest about it saying "we don't yet offer the SmartWi utility for Windows XP". however I figured I'd be able to hack something together.

I wasn't. I tried grabbing the XP Expedite drivers from the OQO website (which uses the same mobile broadband card) and it didn't work. I tried playing around with Novatel's support website to see if I could finagle it into giving me XP drivers, with no success.

So I had to give up, order Vista restore dvds from Sony (Yes, I forgot to make backups, and no Sony doesn't make some of their shared libraries available on their eSupport website!), wait for them to arrive, and re-install the Sony certified Vista installation.

It was not a happy day for me. It was not a happy month and a half for the two executives that received brand new Sony Vaio laptops loaded with Vista either.

That's where Sony's technical support comes in.

I called, mentioned the problem, told them I downgraded (hah) to XP and that even after installing the new SmartWi utility that it wasn't detecting the hardware.

It would give me four devices, "data interface" with no drivers.

I got referred to level 2 tech support with no hassle at all, told them the issue, waited about five minutes, and I was given a link from one of their technicians to download new Novatel drivers. I installed the drivers, and it worked!

The whole tech support experience? under 15 minutes.

HUUUUGE props to Sony technical support. Wow.

Dell has a lot to learn.

Northern Illinois University, DeKalb, IL : Shooting (Updated)

(Updated CNN Article)

I of course made the usual calls making sure everyone I knew was ok and to see how things are going on campus. How many school shootings have occurred in the last two weeks?!

I don't have anything interesting to say. Here's an eyewitness report of what happened:

http://daily-chronicle.com/articles/2008/02/14/news/latest_news/news02.txt

Happy Snowfall Chicagoans!

At least we're not Portland!

Obama-Mania!

Ignore the fact that I took a Republican ballot in the Illinois primary to vote for Ron Paul. I'm all in for Obama in the general election. (Though Ron Paul's candidacy is very attractive right now)

SUGOI: I love this. 8bit Obama is fifteen shades of awesome.

You got Rick Roll'd

Damnit... I got Rick Roll'd again.

I still laugh every time so, you know, it's ok. But jeebus this has spread like wildfire the last few months. So here's a bit of 80's style funk for all of you.

If you haven't been Rick Roll'd yet, consider yourself Roll'd.

How to Prosecute a Rapist, Part 2: How not to interview rape victims. (Part 1)

So,

I left off discussing how bad the opening statements were. It's bad enough we as a jury couldn't discuss the case, it's worse that we had someone to complain about and we couldn't even do it. But that's the system, we don't control that.

The first three witnesses in the case were Mario Villa's victims. I believe it was the actual victim for this case first, then two previous victims who testified for modus operandi and identification purposes.

For those of you not in the know, apparently when you have a multiple felon you can admit previous crimes, or other previous incidents into the trial but not as evidence counting against the specific charges against the defendant. It only counts for:

• defendant's proclivity to commit such crimes
• defendant's modus operandi (mo, his style)
• identifying the defendant

So, first witness was the woman that this proceeding was for. Sge walked up with tissues in hand, obviously distraught and crying, raised her right hand, and sat down.

The prosecutor (there were two, one younger woman, maybe 35-45, and one older, shorter, and ... someone that preferred to cake on their makeup aged around 50-60) who I'll define as the "older" one got up there, asked her to spell out her name for the ladies and gentleman of the jury and proceeded to question her.

Oh wait,
Your honor, may I approach? I have tissues.
I believe she alre-...
(walks up anyway and places a tissue box in front of her, in the way of us seeing the victim)

Ok, annoying, and I believe the judge felt so also. It was pretty obvious even from that first small act that the only reason for walking up to give the victim tissues was to emphasize that she was crying to affect how we felt about her.

Here are a few words of advice for you attorneys out there:

If you're questioning a victim that's gone through a terrible ordeal and is still strong enough to testify, make sure she has tissues, water, whatever she needs before she gets to the stand.

When you're questioning a victim that's obviously distraught, crying, or otherwise not in a good state, you don't need to show us that. We know. We're people, when one person sees another human being in pain, most of the time they want to reach out and comfort that other person. That goes triple for rape victims. Please don't give us signposts to that fact. WE KNOW SHE IS HURTING. WE FEEL FOR HER.

Anyway, continuing past that little point of legal theater, the older prosecutor went on to question the victim. Except she didn't so much question as make statements in pidgin legalese that require a yes or no answer, then move on while interrupting the witness as she's attempting to give more details. For example:

When I want to ask someone what they did before they arrived home and what their bedtime routine was, whether there was any light on in the house and whether there were any windows open and whether their front door was locked (all relating directly to the charge of Home Invasion, and to the ability to identify the defendant), I'd say

"So, on the night of February 7, 2004, you shopped for groceries and went home, correct?"
"Yes."
"Tell us when you got home, what you did, how you prepared for bed, and went you went to sleep."
"I arrived home around 9:30pm, put away my groceries, went upstairs, got ready for bed, and went to sleep around 10:15."
"Did you lock your door after you arrived home?"
"Yes."
"Did you leave any lights on?
"No, I turned them all off."
"Was there another source of light you didn't turn off?"
"Yes, a street light was directly outside my window, I left the blinds open so that it light shone through."
"Did you leave any windows open that night?"
"Yes, I left my downstairs windows open."

So at this point we've established she got home, lived in a two story apartment, went to bed with no lights on (but had light shining in from a street lamp), and had left a window open downstairs. This question and answering established a nice little narrative for a young woman arriving home after grocery shopping and going to bed feeling safe. This is what the prosecution wanted to show. Then I would have brought out pictures of the front of the first floor apartment, the opened window, the stairs leading upstairs, you know, simple things to illustrate what this guy would have had to go through to get in. I would have asked, "Is this the window you left open? Are these the stairs leading to your bedroom?" Then I would have walked by the jury and showed the pictures to them, briefly, but long enough for them to visualize her apartment.

That's now how questioning occured.

"Did you have the opportunity to go grocery shopping on February 7th, 2004?"
"Yes."
"Approximately what time did you get home on February 7th, 2004?"
"Around 9:30pm."
"What did you do when you arrived home on February 7th, 2004?"
"I put my groceries away."
"Then what did you do?"
"I went upstairs and got ready for bed."
"Did you have the opportunity to turn off all your lights?"
"... yes."
"Did you have the opportunity to lock your front door?"
"Yes."
"After you had the opportunity to turn of all your lights and lock your front door, did you then proceed to go to sleep?"
"Yes."
"Was there any light in your room?"
"Yes, from the street lamp outside of my bedroom."

Then came the exhibits...

"What is this a picture of?"
"That's the front of my house."
"I've marked this as state's exhibit 1 for identification purposes. Does this picture illustrate the front of your house in substantially the same condition as on February 7th, 2004?"
"Yes."
"What is this a picture of?"
"That's a closer picture of the front of my house."
(It happened to be the address numbers)
"I've marked this as state's exhibit 2 for identification purposes. Does this picture illustrate the front of your house in substantially the same condition as on February 7th, 2004?"
"Yes."
What is this a picture of?"
"That's a picture of the window I left open, the one the-"
"I've marked this as state's exhibit 3 for identification purposes. Does this picture illustrate the front of your house in substantially the same condition as on February 7th, 2004?"
"Yes."

This went on for about... 15 to 20 exhibits. Not with any explaining why they were showing the exhibits, and not with showing us ANY of the exhibits AT ALL. The older prosecutor literally brought up 15-20 pictures as exhibits, asked the same damned question every time, and interrupted her witness every time she tried to give a little more information that requested, as in something other than a "yes" or "no".

A few more words of advice to attorneys:

This applies to pretty much any witness, not just a rape victim. But when you're asking questions, I understand (and we as a jury understand) that there are going to be certain things you need to establish that we don't necessarily understand the need for (or we don't yet). But you can ask several questions at once and let the witness speak. Please... ask several questions at once and let the witness speak. Don't just ask questions that require a yes or no answer, especially if you want to emphasize that this witness is a very badly hurting human being who you want us to sympathize with. Treating her like a robot, speaking like a robot, and not letting us hear a narrative does not help your case.

When presenting exhibits, please show them to the jury. We want to see them.

Please don't present 15 to 20 exhibits at once. Spurts of 3 to 5 are a good medium, and it allows us to see pictures as the witness is telling us about events. It also makes sure you don't skip ahead and show us pictures of a bloody tampon on the ground before we've heard the witness testify to that.

When you speak, don't close your eyes because you're trying to remember stuff. Be prepared, look at the witness when you're speaking to them, look interested, look engaged, look like you care.


So, questioning continues in the same style. "did you have an opportunity to..." "I'm going to interrupt you every second to lay out a story in pidgin legalese, please answer yes or no."

Ugh, terrible... and the rape victim is of course up there and she's crying, just wants to tell her story and get off the stand, and we sympathize with her, but we start hating the prosecutor.



So, conversely to the prosecutor's questioning, the defense attorney (Stone I believe) actually did a competent job of questioning the rape victim.
When I say competent I mean he did a great job of:

• not looking like an ass
• being sympathetic, yet still asking quick and to the point questions about specific facts.
• acknowledging that something terrible happened and that he's sorry
• listening to answers, waiting until they're finished to ask the next question
• keeping it brief

While overall I was not impressed with the defense attorney, at this stage of the trial he did a "pretty good job" (tm).


He still probably should have been more picky at the jury selection stage... I just think he wasn't trying. :)


Oh, by the way:
Article on the Chicago Tribune: http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/local/chi-chicago-rapefeb08,1,3390796.story

The two state's attorney's (I don't know which is which yet) are:

Assistant State's Atty. Patricia Shea
(No picture available yet)
I previously referred to her as the "older one".

Assistant State's Atty. Shauna Boliker

She was definitely the better of the two. I previously referred to her as the "younger one".


Apparently ASA Shauner Boliker is also prosecuting the R. Kelly "pissing on you" child pornography case.

The defense attorney was:

Jed Stone, Stone & Associates, L.L.C.

Apparently he's made some "World Can't Wait: Drive out the Bush Regime" speeches. I'm linking to one here:
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-5585713256770995112


I say defense attorney because even though they were two, the "second chair" defense attorney, John Curnyn never spoke. I don't hold it against him or anything, but we really only saw Jed Stone in action.

By the way, no one questioned the jury on the way out! none of the attorneys bothered asking us why we did what we did. I know one of the beauties of jury duty is not having to explain a guilty / not guilty verdict, but man... Anyway, I'll get to that in another post. This one's rivaling chapter length and I'm only a few hours into the trial.

Brand New! Brand New! Brand New!

About three weeks ago I listened to NPR (WBEZ, Chicago Public Radio) and Sound Opinions came on. They were discussing Michael Jackson and his latest attempt at a comeback via a hop-hop world that's rapidly coming around to Jackson being "cool" again due to the 25th anniversary of Thriller. Then they discussed Michael Jackson's "biggest fan", Rhymefest.

I first heard Rhymefest on a few Kanye West tracks. I've always been a big fan of sampling, scratch DJ's, and organicly grown rap and while Kanye may not be "underground" or producing for Jay-Z anymore, he was definitely groundbreaking. He brought Rhymefest into my consciousness.

So I grabbed Rhymefest - Blue Collar.
I loved it, I'm definitely going to see Rhymefest next time he's in town.

Anyway, Rhymefest made a mix album he's released for free via his MySpace page
taking samples and interviews from Michael Jackson's older and best work and mixing it together into some fantastic tracks, some hilarious interview segments, and an all around great album.

He may riff on Michael Jackson for his proclivities, but all in all it's obvious he's got a lot of love for Michael Jackson. Go visit his MySpace page and download Man in the Mirror for free.

Family Guy Funny? When the hell did that happen (again)?

"You've checkmated my teenage cynicism!"
"Excellent, i'm a bigger hit with the kids than Will Smith and his nice clean rap."
"WHOOOO HAHA, I respect women when I'm on a date,
I take 'em to a park or maybe a museum and I only try to kiss 'em, if they're ready
WHOO HOO WHAT WHAT WHAT uh WHAT I say WHAT
Help out your mom and dad by gettin' a job
so you can help pay for school supplies
WHOOHOO say HO
Wipe your shoes on the mat when you come in the house some one just CLEANED that floor WHOO HOO SAY WHAT WHAT HA HA"

How Not to Prosecute a Rapist, Part 1: Opening Statements

First, a little overview:

The Cook County, IL Circuit Court system selected me for jury duty. I visited the 26th & California (Chicago) criminal facility, submitted myself as required, and ended up performing real jury duty with real jurors, a real judge, a real defendant, very real victims, multiple witnesses, a decent but unremarkable defense attorney, and surprisingly incompetent prosecutors.


Second, a little qualifying statement:

Current mood: Angry
I spent four days sitting with eleven other jurors (and two alternates) listening to witnesses, prosecutors, and the defense attorney. But I'm not mad at the process, I'm mad at the lawyers... mostly the prosecutors. I'm a private citizen with no substantial legal experience. All I kept thinking was, "It can't be this bad all the time..." and "my friends would eat these two for breakfast if they were opposing council, and they're just a year out of law school".

I believe that's a bad sign.

The judge, the court reporters, the clerks, the officers were all top notch and on top of their game.

I had no previous knowledge of the case, the defendant, witnesses, or attorneys before sitting for this trial. After the end I did find out I knew of a couple of the offenses.

I'm writing because I'm angry, and because I want lawyers out there to know how to more effectively argue to a jury. For example: don't piss off the jury. I thought that would be a pretty standard concept learned in law school . I suppose not.

Most of the time I'm going to speak for myself, but occasionally I'll address what we as a jury felt. I'll make sure to note that. We as a jury were pretty much on the same page as far as frustration, so most of the time, speaking for myself is speaking to the attitude of all of us.


Third, a little background on the case:

I didn't know this at the time, but we were going to try the first out of seven cases against First, the judge was fantastic throughout the entire process Villa, aka: Jose Alpizar. He was known in the media as the "Lincoln Park Rapist" and the "North Side Rapist". From 1999 to 2004 he was busy looking for unlocked windows and casing vulnerable women on the street.


Onto the point,
Opening Statements:

While I've never served on a jury before (I'm 26), I had a certain expectation of how things were going to go. I'm not talking about from cop shows or lawyer shows, I mean from a "You're going to be here for a while, here's what we're going to prove" point of view. That's not what happened. I consolidate the prosecution's opening argument's to this:

We are going to present some evidence and it's going to show beyond a reasonable doubt that Mario Villa is guilty as charged of home invasion and of aggravated criminal sexual assault.

Ok, that's good... so, can you give us a little outline of how you're going to do that?

Mmm... no, that's ok, you figure it out.

... really?

Great... Defense opening statement?

You're going to hear a woman testify about a terrible event, and we understand it's going to be uncomfortable and it's not going to be pretty. But the judge instructed you to follow the law, and we'd like you to focus on that. You all took an oath to be impartial, so when examining the facts and evidence of the case we want you to truly be impartial, follow the law, and make a fair decision based on the evidence in front of you. Be impartial and follow the law. FOLLOW THE LAW

Follow the law, yes, we will try to do that.



So, what did we learn? Prosecution?

• When giving an opening statement, please don't just tell us "We have a case that will blow you away", give us a brief outline of your case.
• Tell us ahead of time that your chain of evidence is rock solid, your expert witnesses unimpeachable, and your victims sure. Don't force us to try and figure that all out later (though we will if we have to).

Defense?

• The Judge starts by telling us that he's going to instruct us as to the law. During jury selection, both you and the judge asked if we could be fair and impartial. If you want to reiterate the point, please do so once.
• If you're going to reiterate the point, don't sound so desperate. It makes it sound like your case has one broken leg to stand on.
• If you sound desperate, you make it known you're going to try and use the word of the law to the benefit of the defendant (what we call a "technicality" in lay terms).
• If you're going to build your case on little "technicalities", we're happy to evaluate your case based on that. Please tell us what those might be ahead of time, or at least elude to parts of testimony you want us to focus on. Again, we will do our job by figuring it out, but it'll make it less likely we'll see everything how you want us to see it.

That's it for opening statements. Coming next?

How to Prosecute a Rapist, Part 2: How not to interview rape victims.

Here's some background on the case if you're interested.
NBC 5 news report from March 22, 2004: when they caught the guy.
Chicago Sun-Times reporting on the beginning of the trial.

By the way, the charges were, "Home Invasion", "Aggravated Criminal Sexual Assault", "Aggravated Criminal Sexual Assault", and "Aggravated Criminal Sexual Assault" for three separate acts involved in the same event.